Have Kids? Will Travel!!!

A few weeks ago in NYC I was a guest on John Fugelsang'sTV show VIEWPOINT.

If you're a follower of this blog then you know that I am now a bi-coastal MOMMY who is doing my best to keep up with my comedy, speaking and television career as well as being a full-time Mom. Since Baby Bean was born almost 7 months ago this kid has been to 8 of the 50 states in the U.S. and flown on about 20 airplanes (counting connecting flights). 

It's a shame she doesn't get the frequent flyer miles!!!

I'll be completely honest here. In all of those flights we've ONLY had one major meltdown where I was the embarrassed mommy on the plane praying that the people surrounding me were parents too and had sympathy for my situation. But 19 times out of 20 we've de-boarded with our heads held high and my daughter being the recipient of the "Best Baby on Board Award." Yes, I totally made that up, but I'm actually thinking of getting ribbons made for airlines to hand out.

I wish could take all the credit for her being such an incredible little traveler, but I honestly believe it's a combination of her father and I being a first rate world travelers, having chill & positive attitudes and luck of the draw with her just being a rockstar baby. I totally intend on sharing some of my travel secrets in future blog entries, but in the meantime I've got some tips from guest blogger, Kendra Thornton, an expert world traveler and mother of 3 who is also the former Director of Communications for Orbitz.

Kendra Thornton, traveling mom of 3

Here are  Kendra's tips for traveling with your little ones this summer:

Safe Travels with Happy Kids

Travel is much more enjoyable when you have healthy and happy children in tow. I know how rough travel can be with children who are crabby and upset because they have been taken out of their elements. With a bit of preparation and thought, your children are sure to love their next excursion.

• Tip 1:When I take my children to theme parks, I always make sure that we eat a hearty breakfast. Theme park food is notoriously overpriced, as tempting as it might be. The breakfast you can supply your family with outside the park is also more likely to be high in nutrients, whereas traditional amusement park fare is loaded with sugar. I would encourage you to still make healthy decisions at fast food locations if you must stop for something on-the-go!

• Tip 2:Infants and young children need to have consistency in their sleep schedules, whether they are at home or not. Creating a sleeping environment that will remind the children of home is the best way to ensure that the entire family gets a night of rest. It is a good idea to bring along blankets, pacifiers and music that the children are accustomed to. You definitely do not want to forget your child’s favorite bedtime story.

• Tip 3: Children are bound to get restless during the transportation phase of the vacation, whether you are taking a road trip or jet setting. An audio book will satisfy some children and keep them quiet. I like that I can put a selection of books on my iPod, plug in some headphones and the kids are occupied.

Another comedy baby. Does it get any cuter?! She's SO zen!!!

• Tip 4: Before booking a hotel room, ensure that it is completely family friendly. The hotel’s website is obviously a biased source of information so seek out reviews from reliable sources and people who have spent time there. I always make sure that my hotel rooms include refrigerators and microwaves so that we do not have to go out for food anytime we are hungry. I also like to check out the nearby businesses for grocery stores. I am also always on the lookout for nurseries, meals and playgrounds on-site. Keep in mind that many Orlando hotels in Walt Disney World offer quiet hours to ensure that their visitors (children especially) get a solids night rest.

•Tip 5: I try to prepare a hygiene travel kit for every vacation. You just never know when soap and water are unavailable. I include hand sanitizer and wet wipes so that I can clean up spills, messy hands, and potentially "germy" door knobs.

The goal for any vacation should be to plan accordingly without going over the top. It is easy to try to plan each and every detail, but it is highly unlikely that everything will go according to plan. I have found that planning is nice, but it is much nicer to have happy children.

For Shizzle My Bizzle

You’ve heard of “party poopers” well in the beginning we were “poop party-ers.” See, you never fully appreciate the act until you’re the parent of a newborn and knowing that your baby is #1 at number two means you are at least doing part of the job right. Because what they leave in that little diaper means they’re getting all of nutrients and sustenance they need to grow into a mischievous toddler and eventually obnoxious teenager.

The first time “it happened” it was like “So You Think You Can Dance” in the nursery. Seriously, we busted into a two-person flashmob - the dog even took a break from updating her Facebook and joined in because we were so excited she thought we were praising her for something. 
 

I know! I'm sick. My dog actually has her own FB page

I never thought I would be “that parent”, you know the one who loses their mind over every little cute and disgusting thing my baby does. But the excitement over this one particular bodily function completely took me by surprise. Now, I admit clean-up can be a b*tch. The “mustard monster blow-outs” take no prisoners. And it can be especially gross because my husband and I chose to use cloth diapers instead of disposables. I like to say it's because we love the environment and (apparently) hate ourselves.J/K

For a hot minute we thought we could predict when a mustard monster blow-out was going to happen. We thought we’d be slick and just let her hang out in a make shift diaper out of one of the dog’s wee-wee pads. (Don’t judge me!) 

Well, we underestimated the sheer power and malleability of baby pooh. My husband had the misfortune of sleeping with the baby on his bare chest when this occurred.

Trust me a valuable lesson was learned from that experience. And that lesson would be to ALWAYS have a camcorder nearby—because the look of absolute horror on my husband’s face was priceless and should have definitely been captured for posterity.
 

Okay Seriously?! How Does she manage to poop up?!WTF?!

The Diaper Bag From Heaven

Even though I'm bi-coastal, and every now and again I find myself on TV or radio I really pride myself on being down to earth and non-materialistic- which is quite a feat considering I'm bi-coastal, on radio/TV... and I grew up in Plano, Texas- where our unspoken motto is: It's not how you feel, but how you look.

Your average neighborhood block in Plano, TX

That said, I cannot help but gush over my new  über stylish diaper bag. I got it just over a week ago and I am completely in love with it. 

This is JJ Cole's Caprice "Silver Drop" Style  - I dare you to tell me this looks like a diaper bag.

Y'all if loving a diaper bag is wrong I don't want to be right. And if you seriously think my loving a diaper bag IS wrong then you've never been a parent with a diaper bag that was also your purse/backpack/wallet/wristlet/"murse" etc... 'cause guess what you trade all those cute designer things in when you have a bambino. Well, not anymore thanks to JJ Cole!

 

Like my own mother, I always wanted to be the hip cool well-dressed mom. I swear carrying this bag makes it easy since it goes with ANY outfit. Hellooo- a busy mom's dream come true!

I'm smiling because of the bag NOT because I enjoy shopping

I may leave the house without make-up on these day but I'm still looking cute with my JJ Cole Caprice Diaper Bag on my side.

I used to pretend that I didn't care if my old "gender neutral" bag with it's brown, aqua, lime and cream stripes didn't go with what I was wearing. But I was lying to myself. (And slowly killing my inner Kim Kardashian.)

I also seemed to be under the illusion that I could take everything I wanted with me for an outting. I had no idea how much baby stuff I was going to have to carry with me at one time. Now, the reality has set in.  

Which if you are a new mom, you know that list includes but is not limited to: extra diapers, a spare change of clothes or two, toys, swaddling blanket, pacifiers, bottles, diaper wipes, a diaper changing cloth...I'm sure I'm forgetting something- but you catch my drift. 
 

Inside the JJ Cole Caprice Diaper Bag

My old diaper bag really couldn't carry all of that but I pretended it could which is why it was rarely zipped up and I had stuff spilling out of the side pockets, which by the way didn't zip or close. So every time I bent over it was a disaster. I was a walking hot mommy mess. That was until the heaveans opened up and the diaper bag gods smiled upon me and I recieved this bad boy. With it's 10 pockets and super sturdy diaper changing pad you can't go wrong.

Let me just say that as soon as I walked into my lactation center aka "Baby Breastfeeding Bootcamp" all the moms looked my way and the first question out of their mouths was "Where did you get that?" I actually get asked that all the time now.

You too can don your very own fabulous JJ Cole Diaper Bag. You can find them online or in stores for the very reasonable retail price of $69.99 OR you can one for FREE by winning the Diary of a Preganant Comedian Giveaway. 

All you have to do is leave a comment below telling me which style is your favorite and a winner will be selected randomly at the end THIS MONTH (April 2013).

You can check it all out by clicking on this link:
http://jjcolecollections.com/caprice-bag    

Good Luck!
~Karith
 

iPotty??? Ummm, How About iCan't.

So this being a new mommy is wild stuff. I'm doing things I had no idea I was capable of like exercising unconditional patience during teething & sleep-fighting tantrums. I'm pulling out all the stops to breastfeed (See The Best Damn Lactation Cookies You'll Ever Eat.)
  

I've also now been relegated from watching popular adult shows like Breaking Bad on Netflix to Sesame Street and Yo Gabba Gabba. I think it's safe to say life for me has changed pretty drastically. And as much as I miss my old wake up time of 10am- I am acclimating to 6:30/7:30am.  

So I make myself clear I'm not bitching about any of these changes. I couldn't be happier to be a mom. My point was to get across that motherhood is a serious commitment and MAJOR life change. Like the majority of moms out there I'm am doing as good a job as I can to the best of my ability which includes reading as many books, blogs and parenting magazines as I can get my hands on, having pow-wows with all of my friends who are also mothers and last but not least staying up on all the latest baby trends and technology. 

But the other day one of my best friends and mother of 3 whose youngest is just 2 months older than Baby Bean posted this on her Facebook page.

The iPotty

Initially I thought it was a joke, because like me she has a bit of a twisted sense of humor. Then I clicked on the link and it lead me to this Amazon.com page. Not only is this item real but it's been on back order a several times. I shit you not! (Pun totally intended.) What I love most though were the comments people posted. Some hysterically mocking the product while others are unabashedly defending their right and reasoning for purchasing it. Either way it'll give you a laugh. 

But like me, it should also make you think about how far you will go to please, entertain, encourage, and "train" your child. Never say never, but right now my response to the iPotty is iCan't! 
 

Why Water Births Rule!

It just dawned on me that I had yet to REALLY write about how Baby Bean came into the world and why my husband, CJ, and I chose the all natural water birth route. Now that she's been out of me almost half as long as she was inside I realized it was time to share before it becomes a foggy memory.  

Although I seriously doubt the birth of your kid, especially the first one, is ever foggy- unless you were higher than Keith Richards on any given Saturday night in the 60's, 70's, 80's or 90's- oh hell, who are we kidding that man would probably drop dead if he didn't still get his groove on- now it's just probably laced with calcium and Metamucil.

From the moment I learned that a woman could have a baby in water I wanted to do it. Maybe it’s because I’m a Cancerian with my Rising and Moon Signs in Scorpio -which of course makes me a “triple water threat”. 

But I also thought that it would help make one of the most intense experiences of my and my baby’s life relaxing and calming; and when you think about it what better way to come into the world? Heck, you’ve been in water for 9 months- talk about a smooth transition. So when we got pregnant my CJ and I found a birthing center that would let us have the all-natural delivery we dreamed of.

 

The ACTUAL Birthing Tub Where Baby Bean Was Born 

When my daughter was born I don’t know if she’d heard us talking and knew she was going to come out into water, but thank God she did because that little creature launched out of me like a submarine torpedo. I swear if we’d been in a regular hospital delivery room this kid would have shot clear across the room like a bad scene from a National Lampoon movie. I can totally picture her slipping through Chevy Chase's hands. 

Fortunately, Baby Bean had a short umbilical cord so she didn’t hit the other side of the tub. Instead, she ricocheted right back and CJ literally caught her on the rebound. I for one had no idea newborns were such thrill seekers I mean really you're gonna baby bungee jump out of the womb. Really?!

Aside from the comfort and ease that being in water afforded me and my baby I think one of the best parts of a water birth is that when you bring them up out of the water for their very first breath they don’t look like something out of “Alien”. They’re squeaky clean!!! Ba-bam!!! No more maintenance required—well, except for the whole feeding and raising them thing.

 

I had no idea how fortunate I was to have such an amazing birthing experience.  I give two thumbs and a uterus up to water births. I think every woman should have one or at least seriously consider it. 

*Oh and one last little caveat- EVERYONE who meets the Bean comments on how alert she is. I swear it's because she was born drug-free and in such an awesome environment.

Back that $#!T Up!!!

Oh God, how I wish was talking about getting your grove on at a night club. A) I'm not that cool. I'm lucky I know what the "Harlem Shake" is. B) I think we all know that as a new mother the only club I'm seeing these days is a comedy club when I'm working OR the one in my dreams. But let's be real, the night club in my dreams has the theme to "Elmo's World" and "Baa Baa Black Sheep" playing on constant rotation. Believe me the only way it could be worse is if it was in techno.

No, the backing up I'm referring to is anything important on your cell phone. I mean ALL information- any of it-  photos, contacts, notes, voice notes etc...The reason I am so adamant about this because this last Saturday at the Dallas Arboretum and Botanical Gardens while I'm visiting Texas with the girls (Baby Bean and the Chihuahua) I LOST MY PHONE aka "my life in a digital representation."

Now the crazy part of all of it is, someone actually picked it up. I know this because they answered it when I called. He even told me what he was wearing a turquoise shirt and that his wife was wearing white wearing and disclosed where he was with his wife and daughter so that he could return the phone that I'd only dropped 7 minutes before.

But we never hooked up, my battery died and it seems he didn't have the presence of mind to turn it in to "Lost and Found." As far as I know he walked off with it, sold it, tossed it in the trash can out of spite-- who the hell knows? All I know is that I don't have the majority of four months of pictures of my sweet baby! (This is also because although I have a Mac the iCloud only works if you have an iPhone, so I was iScrewed.)
 

There are no words for how upset I've been over this, but I'm also smart enough to keep things in perspective. I lost the photos which sucks, but it's not the end of the world. I still have my beautiful baby and plenty of opportunities for new pics. Let's just consider this an expensive lesson learned- one I paid with money for a new phone and with tears- lots and lots of tears.

So word to the wise especially you parents who don't want to miss a thing- Back That $#!T Up!!!! 

The Best Damn Lactation Cookies You'll Ever Eat

Now, I am the first person to admit that cooking is not my forte. In fact the closest my celebrity has ever come to a celebrity chef is being the warm up comic for a pilot that Paula Dean was a guest on. And just for the record she IS as sweet in person as she is on TV and she loves butter just as much as you think she does- I don't care how much she's changed her diet post diabetes.

But that's neither here nor there. This blog entry is dedicated to the "Milk Mommies",  the ladies who like myself are doing their darndest to keep the milk flowing for their little nursing ones.

I applaud all of you who are part of this club. Breast feeding is SO not the easy task that one might think it is nor does it come as second nature or as naturally as it seems it should. It's hard work made harder when the baby you so wish to nourish doesn't have an abundant milk supply. Some women's boobs runneth over. Others of us must use supplements like Fenugreek, Blessed Thistle, Goat's Rue, etc...but the tastiest thing I've come across thus far is Lactation Cookies- that I swear on my cracked nipples work.

There are several recipes out there, I've take a bit from here and there, but this is my own recipe that has made some of the best batches of cookies me and CJ, my non-lactating husband have ever had. Oh, and these cookies were a hit at "Baby Breastfeeding Bootcamp" so I can vouch for them.

Here is goes...

Ingredients:

• 3 cups of old fashioned oatmeal (NOT instant)
• 2 large eggs 
• 2 cups of all-purpose flour
• 1 and 1/2 cups of brown sugar
• 1 cup of chocolate chips (I prefer the milk chocolate morsels)
  
• 1 cup of butter (I prefer salted)
• 4 table spoons of water
• 2-4 tablespoons of Brewers Yeast (be generous)
• 2 tablespoons of Flaxseed Meal (I've used plain and the milled Flaxseed from Trader Joe's with blueberries)
• 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
• 1 teaspoon of salt
• 1 teaspoon of cinnamon
• 1 teaspoon of baking soda (yes like Arm & Hammers)

IMPORTANT! Do not substitute the brewers yeast… that’s the ingredient which makes them work.

Method:

Preparation time is around 15-20  minutes.
Preheat the oven to 350F.
1) Mix together 2 tablespoons of flaxseed meal and water, set aside for 3-5 minutes.
2) Cream (beat well) butter and brown sugar. Add eggs one at a time, mix well.
3) Stir flaxseed mixture and add with vanilla to the butter mix. Beat until blended.
4) Sift together dry ingredients, except oats and chips.
5) Add to butter mixture. Stir in oats then chips.
6) Scoop or drop onto baking sheet. The dough is a little crumbly, it might be easier if you use a scoop- I just use a spoon- no need to get too  fancy.
Bake for 8-12 minutes, depending on size of cookies. Makes approximately 6 dozen cookies.

*Again, I can only vouch for myself, but this definitely increased my milk supply and it was a delicious treat that was easy to make. A HUGE plus when you're crazy busy with a newborn.

**Where to Get Brewers Yeast
You can get brewers yeast from health food stores, or in the health food isles of supermarkets. It’s a bit cheaper to buy brewers yeast from supermarkets than from health food stores.

As Paula Deen and I would say, HAPPY NURSING Y'ALL!!!